Rabbit in La-La Land

Hello, I’m Wabbit, and I own two lovely humans–Sotos and Helen. We all live in a comfortable apartment with a balcony which I also own. When Helen brought me home four years ago I was just a dainty little dame. I let my humans know right away that I was feisty and curious, and with a few exceptions I have always been given free reign of our living room.

When I was young, I gave Helen and Sotos plenty of work around the house. I kept Sotos busy patching carpets and repairing phone cords. For some reason they were constantly devising techniques to prevent me from doing my work. I took great joy in outsmarting them. Oh, I liked chewing on the little pieces of wood bought for me, but nothing was more fun than digging up the carpet or jumping on desks and bureaus to chew up papers and clothes.


I’ll never forget the time they tried to prevent me from hopping on the bed. You see, the bed was rabbit heaven: soft blankets and pillows good for hours of cuddling. The only problem was that the blanket and sheets were without holes and required some work on my part. Strangely, Helen and Sotos couldn’t see the value in sheets with hundreds of holes. They seemed embarrassed to hang such sheets on the line.

The humans tried draping a barrier of fabric from the ceiling and tucking it under the mattress. To them it looked formidable, but when they were asleep or away, I just untucked the drapery with my wonderful teeth and went about my shredding business. They got irritated and took turns shooing me off the bed, but as far as I was concerned they slept too much–and there was work to be done. Five- foot board barriers were next. That was easy. Using the nightstand as a springboard, I jumped over the boards and landed plop in the middle of the bed.

In my mature years I give Sotos and Helen less work. I still teach slow people the right way to play Scrabble, but whereas I used to flip their racks into the air, sending their tiles flying into a real scrabble, today I am content with gently lifting the corner of the board. I have even stopped chewing on the phone and electric cords. Mellowness, though, has not diminished the amount of love, licking and laughter that I give.

All in all I am happy and healthy, and gets lots of attention. I do wonder what life would be like if I shared it with a long-eared short-tailed darling. I daydream about bunny love in my spare time–on breaks from my busy schedule.

by Helen Weiss

House Rabbit Journal Volume II No. 5