Quiz: Are You a Bunny Person?

1. Bunny chews/digs up your carpet. Do you…

a. Cease to allow Bunny into carpeted areas?
b. Only allow Bunny into carpeted rooms under supervision?
c. Patch or replace carpet and carry on like before?
d. Move into a log cabin with dirt floors?

2. The doctor says you’re allergic to fur and shouldn’t have pets. Do you…

a. Relocate Bunny to a cage or pen outside?
b. Restrict Bunny to an area of the home where you don’t spend much time?
c. Take allergy medications and buy stock in the Kleenex Corporation?
d. Pitch a tent out back and let Bunny have the house?

3. Bunny has a digestive condition and can only eat organic food grown by Norwegian bachelor farmers in Lake Wobegon. Do you…

a. Decide Bunny will just have to make do with organic foods you can get locally?
b. Look into having food shipped in from Lake Wobegon?
c. Start a rabbit food co-op for all Bunny People who have rabbits with this condition?
d. Relocate to Lake Wobegon?

4. Bunny chews on electrical cords. Do you…

a. Worry about your electronics?
b. Worry about any potential harm that could come to Bunny?
c. Go to every electronics store in the area until you find cord protectors, plus learn how to splice cords to repair the ones that have already been damaged?
d. Who needs electricity anyway?

5. A new edition of the House Rabbit Handbook is being published. Do you…

a. Figure the edition you already have is good enough?
b. Eagerly await the new edition?
c. Camp outside the bookstore with your HRS friends until the book goes on sale?
d. Drive cross-country to get your new edition autographed by author Marinell Harriman?

6. Bunny needs surgery that is estimated to cost thousands of dollars. Do you…

a. Go downtown, set out a hat, and sing for tips?
b. Ask Jerry Lewis to hold a telethon?
c. Consider a new career in bank robbery (or Wall Street, same difference)?
d. Sell one of your kidneys on the black market?

7. Your new mate doesn’t like rabbits. Do you…

a. Keep Bunny caged whenever your mate is over?
b. Have the two of you spend time elsewhere, so you don’t inconvenience Bunny?
c. Make clear that you and your rabbit(s) are a package deal?
d. Take your mate for a ride out in the country and abandon him/her by the roadside?

8. Bunny hogs the bed. Do you…

a. Lock Bunny out of the bedroom at night?
b. Maintain the current sleeping arrangement even though you only get a sliver of the mattress?
c. Buy a bigger bed?
d. Start sleeping on the floor so Bunny can just have the bed?

9. Bunny looks lonesome every day you leave for work. Do you…

a. Assume Bunny will be all right?
b. Get up an hour earlier every day to spend quality time with Bunny before leaving?
c. Sneak Bunny to work with you every day?
d. Quit your job?

10. It’s time to renew your HRS membership but you just quit your job. Do you…

a. Let your membership lapse?
b. Sell items at the local pawnshop to raise the money?
c. Borrow the money from your grudge-happy relative who will lord it over you for the rest of your life?
d. Writhe on the floor sobbing and begging HRS to let you remain a member?

11. You want to start a family but people keep saying it is too much to handle both kids and pets. Do you…

a. Consider living without rabbits for a while?
b. Think perhaps having kids would be a good way to teach the rabbits about responsibility?
c. Feel parents who deprive kids of bunnies should be charged with neglect?
d. Try it and if it doesn’t work out, put the kids up for adoption?

12. Your non-bunny friends and relatives tell you you’re crazy to sacrifice so much for this little pet. Do you…

a. Think they may have a point?
b. Spend more time with your friends who also have rabbits?
c. Cut off relations with anyone who doesn’t understand your passion for rabbits?
d. Start a cult for rabbit lovers and buy land in Waco?

Scoring the Quiz

Each letter answer is worth the following points:
A – 1 point
B – 2 points
C – 3 points
D – 4 points

Sum up your points.

If your total score is:

12 – 20   You are: A person who has house rabbits
21 – 29                      A fairly balanced Bunny Person
30 – 38                     A Bunny-oholic
39 – 48                  A Fanatic (Maybe those who said you were crazy were right.)

By Charlotte-Ann Chenery